Sunday, August 7, 2011

Cancer Journey Mixed Tape - Song 5

Getting chemo, listening to tunes...
I originally wrote about the next song as it related to the Latitude concept I came to while going through treatment (original post: Here). This song has developed into a more powerful force in my post cancer life in my quest to live my life in line with my True You and inspire others to do the same.

We live the majority of our formative years in life under a bevy of influencers telling us what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s acceptable, what’s been done before, etc. It’s only when we take a step back from our current situation to examine the relationships with our influencers that we can move towards living as our True You.

Song #5 on Roger’s Cancer Journey Mixed Tape is a song that came to me when I took back control of my life and realized what I am truly capable of while on earth and in legacy.

Artist: John Mayer (Link)
Song: Bigger Than My Body
Album: Heavier Things

When this song first came out I was more drawn to the melody than the lyrics. In hindsight, I think there was a larger force at play that was bookmarking this tune for the right moment to inspire me with the words. This time came during my cancer fight when I had to take a step away from my life and take time to heal.

At first I didn’t enjoy the feeling of life being on hold. If this was the Indy 500, I was parked on pit row getting body work done while all the other racers continued around the track setting personal bests, moving up positions, or simply driving in the race. The sound of race cars whipping by – eeeeeeeeeyyoohh! – echoing in my head as I grew more and more anxious to get back in the race.

Yes I'm grounded, got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle, while I'm waiting
For my fuse to dry...

As the months of treatment wore on I realized I was living my days in a job that didn’t line up with my values. It was putting negative pressure on the relationships that were most important to me and, to be honest, was not challenging. At a certain point I came to the conclusion that I was not living the majority of my waking hours for me but for other people and in certain cases their personal interests.

This was a critical realization that made me decide I was going to live life on my terms after cancer. No matter how big or small the decision I was going to do things in a manner consistent with the fabric of my being. It was an extremely liberating, almost scary decision in knowing how underutilized I was pre-cancer under my old way of living, and what I was now capable of taking life into my own hands post-cancer.

Someday I'll fly, someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for

When you turn the corner and start living life in a manner that’s consistent with your values you will realize how underutilized your life has been to that point. It is a scary-exciting-inspiring-powerful feeling that every living person should experience sooner rather than later.

So, what are you waiting for?

No comments:

Post a Comment